The Point

Over the last few years, the Point has been adrift which means I have been adrift. The Point developed as a platform for my photography, and my photography represents me. I am the Point. I work alone and working alone has drawbacks. I don’t necessarily want to work alone but it suits me. It fits with my temperament.  

Outside influences have added to the drawbacks. It started with Covid, which blended into studying for a Masters in Sustainable Development, but the real kick in the teeth came with a separation. A separation that has been and is brutal. I am emotionally on the ropes. I’ve never felt so low. I still feel low and it’s not over.  

I began making a new Point with a focus on mental health. The roots of which came from an earlier issue but as I researched and read, my own situation became so overwhelming. I thought this focus would help. It didn’t. I felt worse, so for my own wellbeing I stopped. Any future Point went back on the shelf. I was empty. 

All these events culminated in a killing of my creativity, but photography has helped save me. It took a while to get back to it, to make myself look at things when I didn’t want to. I’d forgotten or was forgetting photographic skills which came naturally. Muscle memory was fading but I fought it. I bought a 5x4 view camera and got inspired to once again learn. I went back to basics, went back to processing my own negs, went back to developing my craft and with it the seeds of creativity began to come forth. 

I’m still not in a position to make another magazine but I’m getting there. I’m working on projects which I hope will prosper into a new Point.  

In making the Point I put making a difference above making money but my principles and values don’t pay the way. They contributed but it was never enough. Now I’m alone more than ever and so I must reframe the significance of making money. I’m hobbled as to when I can work because of childcare and I don’t rely on the state to subsidise my lifestyle, so now I have to work more on making money rather than trying to make a difference and so it is to my photographic practice that I turn. 

Rather than use my photography solely for myself, I’m beginning to build a practice that uses it for what others might want as a jobbing photographer. What this looks like I have no idea, but the challenge is both exciting and daunting.