It sat there, for a day or so, dormant, waiting for me to face up to what I felt was going to be a daunting task. Unpacking I was annoyed at how much Sellotape was used. It bugs me that people don’t use a more sustainable sticky product. Sellotape is plastic and plastic is a pollutant. It goes straight to landfill and sits there sticking itself to itself, for what could be centuries. Petty, I know but plastic pollutes.
As I opened one box, another was revealed and inside was two more. Hasselblad. Inside the inner boxes were the fundamental elements of a new photography. A body, a viewfinder, a battery handle, a digital back, a lens and other paraphernalia. Assembly took quite a bit of time. It took me an hour to get the plastic protector off the digital back, let alone the rest of the components. Frustrated and stressed I thought what have I done here. A capital expenditure on a credit card that I can’t afford. My body heat was rising as the stress built and all the while the kids are downstairs waiting for their tea.
Priorities Mark!
Tea aside, eventually assembly was complete and my first impression was what a beast. It’s heavy, 2175 g to be precise. That’s just over 2 litres of water or a medium sized pineapple. On a tripod it’s not an issue but handheld, particularly over a long period, it’s going to be a challenge.
Keen to have a play I came across my first stumbling block. Batteries.
Coming from the analogue and mechanical world of photography, batteries aren’t really an issue but that was the least of my concerns. Whilst I was becoming perplexed by the functions the manual sets out, there was another issue. What storage card do I need?
Get back in the box.
The next day I began researching storage memory cards. That got confusing, then I discovered in the manual a recommendation for two brands of CF card. Obviously, I couldn’t find those online so I called the experts where you can buy all things photographic. I asked for some advice on a CF card and batteries. They don’t make those CF cards anymore, so I followed the advice, and I made my purchase.
Waiting in anticipation I was excited by the delivery. I had a shoot planned out for practice. Batteries in place. Card slotted I turned the beast on. I was greeted on the screen by the term Starting Up. Five minutes later it was still starting up. Dejected, I investigated the problem. I took all the components apart and put it all back together. Five minutes later, Starting Up. AAAhhhhhh!!! Have I bought a duff. I am so sceptical of eBay buys, but I had a go with the card out to try and diagnose where the problem was. It was the card. More research and after a conversation with a very helpful woman who worked in a Hasselblad retailer, I was awaiting some communication for a possible explanation. Three days later, I was still waiting.
Going back to eBay seller saying I might have to request a refund, I’m informed that the 128 GB storage card I was sold by the expert is too powerful for the camera. I had a £100 storage card that I couldn’t use. Back to the research and to date I’m awaiting another delivery for a 32 GB storage card. Here’s hoping.
In the meantime, I tried to format the card on my desktop because I couldn’t get access via the camera. My card reader didn’t except that size card, so again back to the research to find one that fits. I get a delivery, along with rechargeable batteries because the three I bought with the original card had practically run out in the time I had been faffing about. I go to plug the new card reader into my desktop. I don’t have any appropriately sized USB ports. Unbelievable. I drive to PC World and quite honestly it is the worst shop I know. The customer service is dire. I walk in and three staff members are stood there. No-one says hello, let alone asks can I help. One of them is on his phone. I spend 10 minutes trying to find what I need, an adaptor and when I can’t find it, there are no staff members around to help. I eventually go to the front of the shop and find phone man. I ask his advice. He looks in one section and says no. He then says there might be something over there. He doesn’t come with to look or help. I leave and return to my online shopping where I am now awaiting a delivery of cards and a card reader adaptor. Here’s hoping, again.
After a speedy Amazon delivery, a 7-port USB hub 3.0 arrived. I plugged my card reader in and nothing. I tried another port. Nothing. I look to update device drivers, searched about but nothing. After some more toing and froing, I realised what I had bought wasn’t an adaptor, it was simply a 7-port USB hub. I got the 3.0 wrong. That would explain the loose fit when I tried to plug the card reader in. Nightmare.
On re-examining the box, I think I need a USB-C adapter. So, it’s back to an internet search and another order.
My phone pings. ‘Your parcel has been delivered’ ‘How did we do?’
Yet nothing seems to have been put through the letter box, on the doorstep, in the garage, or in the bin. Obviously, you haven’t delivered anything. An investigation into the courier and Mitch has signed for it. The accompanying photograph is some random coffee shop I haven’t seen in my life, and I don’t know Mitch. There is no-one to talk to directly from the couriers, so I contact the company I bought the adapter from. They launch their own investigation, and it turns out the couriers assigned the wrong shipping number to the product.
Finally, my little adapter which costs less than the cost of carriage arrives, and it works. Brilliant. All I need now is the arrival of the appropriate CF cards which I had ordered from the Canon shop. Days past and nothing arrives. I check the bank, payment pending. Next day, payment pending, another day, payment pending. I check my emails. Nothing. I then have to phone Canon which like couriers isn’t the most straightforward of operations and they open an investigation. Long and short, I’m over waiting. I cancel the order and get a refund on the payment pending, so I find another internet retailer and order another two cards. All the while every company sends me a questionnaire asking how did we do? I told Airband how they were doing recently. Pointless.
The cards arrive. I tentatively insert one into the camera and yes, it works. Now I’m ready to tackle that rather imposing manual but to check I must make my first image with my new Hasselblad H3D II 31. What do I photograph? The pressure of making my first image is almost to much. What should it be? Something meaningful? Something profound? I know, tomatoes.
